After reading Jake’s beautiful story, I thought I’d share mine. It doesn’t go as far back as his does and it is certainly not as beautiful, but it is meaningful in its own way… Well, at least for me it is.

I should begin by saying I live in Brazil. I think that’s worth mentioning because 1) this is going to be a long-ass text, and I may screw up the grammar sometimes, seeing as I have never been abroad and studied English by myself; and 2) there is no late night talk show tradition in Brazil. There’s been one for the longest time, and with the recent surge of stand-up comedy here two more were added to the list, but I should say in advance they’re all shit. Trust me, they are really, really bad. But when Dave’s show started being broadcast here on cable over a decade ago, I fell in love with the format. I didn’t know that was a THING, to be honest, but I loved it. I only found out that was a thing when I saw Craig.

The Late Late Show isn’t broadcast here. I discovered it, as Craig would say, on the internets, the youbetchas, the facetubes – I was binge-watching “Veronica Mars” and loving the show; so I looked up Kristen Bell interviews on YouTube and came across lots and lots of interviews of Kristen with this gentleman called Craig Ferguson. I knew his face was familiar, although I didn’t know where from (I soon remembered having seen him on “Family Guy”). And because I was doing fuck all with my life at the time, I decided to watch all of them.

I remember that happened in early October 2010. With every interview, my interest for “Veronica Mars” started to transform into an interest for Kristen Bell being interviewed by Craig Ferguson, and then into an interest for Craig Ferguson himself. Her latest interview there had been only a few days before (September 27th, if my memory serves me right), so I decided to pick up the LLS from there… And I haven’t missed ONE SINGLE episode ever since.

I’ll be honest: I loved it all. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what I loved about it, but if felt like it was custom-made for me. Looking back in retrospect, there was a skeleton that said “balls” and “in your pants” all the time, a tweets and emails segment (with a cool jingle), a kickass theme song, profanity (covered up by a flag and a stereotypical word and/or accent) puppets, remarkable cold opens, unscripted dialogues, improvisational comedy, a blatant contempt for everything superficial, running gags, a complete love for everything funny and intelligent, and Craig Ferguson in the center of it all. What was not to love?

The tweets and emails segment was by far my favorite. Craig made me cry with laughter everytime, and nobody had ever done that to me until that point. I remember favoriting the clips that contained those segments on YouTube and rewatching them over and over again – and laughing everytime.

I remember the day he read my first tweet. It was December 21st 2010, and I was calmly watching his show on my bed when suddenly he says my name. CRAIG. FERGUSON. SAYS. MY. NAME. I literally could not believe what I was watching and hearing. I showed it to everybody. And I wrote a song with the little harmonica riff he gave me (he charged me with $500,000, but he’ll never see that money).

Thanks to that tweet I was contacted by two people – a girl and a guy. They were the only other two people in Brazil, as far as I knew, who knew the LLS. How big of a bond can the LLS make between people? Well, I was on an 18-month long relationship with that girl (who happened to live in MY TOWN, of all places) and we’re still friendly with each other, and the guy and I have been good friends ever since then.

After that tweet, I decided to dive in deep into the past of the LLS. I found out that things weren’t exactly the way they were when I first watched it – there was no robot skeleton, Craig wasn’t as loose, the show was more scripted. That made me value the fact that I got on board just in time to witness what I consider to be the last significant addition to the show: Secretariat. Everytime – and I am not kidding – Craig rang the bell, I danced together. I am sure I was not alone.

Then came the second tweet read on air. It was July 2011, and that’s when I discovered who were the RSA. I found that out because the day he read the tweet, I woke up to several replies and mentions on Twitter. I kind of got to know them; they were the nicest people, but I was rather scared of so many different people from all places getting in touch with me and following me all of a sudden. I eventually got away from them, and I can say with all my heart that I deeply regret having done that. It was definitely an immature decision, and rude of me to some extent. Looking back on how things went, I was scared and couldn’t quite understand what was going on, and had I known and understood at the time that those people were the only good fanbase that there is on the internet, I would have stuck with them and we would probably be the best of friends by now. Obviously I consider myself a member of the RSA, but I feel like a rogue one. Maybe that’s just my nature, but who knows.

Over the course of these three and a half years watching the LLS I have witnessed several great moments. I take genuine pride on not having missed one single episode. Craig’s humor, his conversations and take on various subjects helped me not only improve my English, but also become a better human being. Watching his movies, “The Drew Carey Show”, and reading his autobiography also helped me understand the man better – although I should say I am not one of those fans who thinks they know their idol. I still think of Craig as somewhat of a mysterious man – and that includes TV’s Craig Ferguson, the one we see for 40 minutes every day.

The news of his “retirement” from late night hit me hard. They hit me pretty fucking hard. I never thought I would react like that to something that, under a rational perspective, shouldn’t matter. He’s a guy on TV, he doesn’t know me or care for me for all I know.

But the thing is, I FEEL like he does. He’s been part of my life for three and a half years, and it feels like a whole lot more. It feels like a decade, interestingly enough. I was gloomy for the entire day after that, and I still am, although a bit less. The way he deals with that is remarkable. I posted on Facebook something saying that it feels like losing a close friend or relative to a terminal disease, and I fucking meant it, but now I can understand it better. And I am taking action.

See, this entire time my dream was to be in a cold open. I see foreigners all the time there, and to be fair, some of them don’t even give a rat’s ass. I tried to relieve that necessity with tweets, but even having been read three times on the air wasn’t enough (although I certainly feel lucky and blessed, and that’s saying a lot, seeing as I am a hardcore atheist). So that’s it, I am going to America.

I am getting the passport and the visa sorted out in the next couple months or less, and then I’ll figure out the rest afterwards. I have absolutely NO IDEA on how I’m gonna get my hands on the tickets, as I have no residence in the US, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

Craig, if getting a 25-year old Brazilian guy’s fat ass all the way to America was your plan, that’s what you got. I am going there because I have a dream, and that dream is to watch a recording of the LLS before you leave, and to be in a cold open and talk to you about whatever in three minutes. Who gives a fuck about the free dinner, I just want to be beside you for a while, smile at you, get a smile back, and then sit down and witness the magic happen.
And you know why? Because I love you, man. And you’re part of my life, even though you may not know.

To Craig Ferguson, everybody at the show, and everybody on the RSA, all my love.